Sunday, November 7, 2010

It's Not all Fun & Games, Y'know

We've been living in a small town at high altitude for 4 months now. And although I've reported lots of good stuff, I have to admit, there are a few problems:
1. People are very friendly. And they remember your name.
harumph! I would never try to one-up people like that!
2. Every time you go out, you see someone you know.
This is only a problem if you leave the house looking like a shlumpadinka. I don't know anyone who would do that.
3. School starts at 8:10am. My children only get up before 8 on weekends. Go figure.
4. My cupcakes look like deflated breasts after nursing. My cookies look like my current breasts.
Apparently there's a whole art to baking at high altitude, so I will not be opening a bakery any time soon. Not unless pancake cupcakes become a fad. Hmmm.....doesn't sound too bad, actually.
5. People invite you to their home. This is a problem because you have to return the invitation. While we did get the boxes unpacked, I never said anything about the art and pictures stacked all over the house (and not in an artful manner, either).
6. People invite you to their home. Did I mention this already? I must mention it again because I cannot bake anything that resembles anything anyone would want to eat. This makes being a hostess, or a guest, problematic.
7. No Target. Enough said.
8. No Costco. Sorry, my suburban proclivities are showing.
9. People here are extremely fit. How is a girl supposed to feel good about herself when everyone around her looks like they just stepped out of "Outside" magazine? Hope these people thicken up during the winter.
10. Not one of you has threatened to visit. This may be the biggest problem of all. Where are my peeps?????!!!!!

Ok, I know, I've been gone awhile, and I'm sorry. i was getting in the groove of fall and enjoying the weather. (And meeting with contractors for the remodel we are going to embark on, but that's for another post.) But I'm back now and hope to hear from you soon!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Where it Stops, Nobody Knows.....

It's Official! I'm growing out my hair.

I know, this is life-altering news. But when you've had a pixie cut for more than 10 years, this is no easy task.
Especially when I'm meeting so many new people, being in a new town. They have no idea I used to have "frikky" hair, as my 5 year olds called it (I think they meant freaky, but it's hard to tell with their new yawk accents). I'm into the world of barrettes and headbands and all other girly kind of stuff I have to learn about from my daughters. So no more frikky, funky, spiky cute hair. It's just uneven, boring, and overall, self-confidence killing hair.

Just call me helmet head.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Only the Beginning?

Being new to Colorado and having to make new friends, I've been thinking a lot about friendship. Girlfriends that is.
I'm not sure I will ever be old enough to figure this out; in fact, it may be more complicated than relationships with the opposite sex. I mean, you can always read "Men are From Mars, Women From Venus." What guide is there to understand other women? And to know when the friendship has taken hold, when you can show your hand, or even when it's over. Is it over when you haven't heard from her in days?in weeks? in months? Maybe she's busy dealing with her kids, her parents, her life. But how do you know? Are you supposed to read the tea leaves? Read between the texts? What if it's texts only? One 'friend' now only texts, and most recently -- asking for money. Really. Where does that leave me? Feels like that black hole between friendship and not. That fade away kind of ending; no fight, no drama, just no more contact. Until that fateful day when you run into each other (of course your hair is not done, no makeup on and in your gym clothes) and have that awkward hello. Or you pretend you don't see each other and head in the opposite direction. Either way, you're left with that sinking feeling in your stomach. That's why I'm rooting for a giant Facebook game for all -- so you'll always know where you stand. It's black and white: Friend or Defriended. It may not be pretty, but neither is ducking out of the grocery store like a fugitive pretending you didn't see your former friend.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010


Did I tell you my kids now go to Shangri-La each day? Aspenites call it school, but it it sounds more like a party to me. First off, they want the kids to like school. Like it? Who ever cared if we liked it or not? You were going and that's that, missy. No, here, they go on a field trip during the first week. And the first week is not even a full week! Yes, Noodles went with the entire grade to the rec center so they could frolic on the water slides, lazy river, and just get to 'enjoy' each other. it actually worked. For the first time in his school career, he can't find anything wrong with school! oh, except that they do have 'detention'. Not that he know what that is. And what it actually is in the elementary school is talking with the assistant principal about how you could have handled the situation differently. ? What happened to hanging out with the derelicts and clapping erasers?????

Did I mention that the school lunch is all ORGANIC? And locally grown, whenever possible. The girls are ready to sleep there....
Where can I sign up?

Friday, August 27, 2010

School Supplies

How many of you have had to go through the time-honored tradition of taking out a home equity loan to pay for school supplies? Ok, I know buying school supplies is part of the rhythm of back-to-school, but since when does it include buying wipes, soap, xerox paper, markers for art?????? What's next supplying your own toilet paper? And what about the families that can't afford $100 for each kid? Do they have to go without toilet paper?
I know that all school budgets have been slashed, but is this how to deal with it? Don't worry, I'm not going to get into taxes and politics here, but it's some food (oh yeah, we have to bring large bags of pretzels for extra classroom snacks) for thought.

Back at the Ranch

So this is the maiden voyage of the blog.......please comment!

Last week Glitter and Sparkles went to Rock Bottom Ranch for camp all week. I didn't know that this is affectionately known as 'farm camp'. Because would i have sent these two fancypants to a farm? ok, so now we know that a ranch = farm. good to know.
So off we go into the hinterlands to get there, shlep through a muddy trail, and voila, there it is - complete with horses, cows, goats, chickens, pigs, roosters and sunflowers. Beautiful. Somehow, during this week of milking the goats (shouldn't they be paying me for free labor?), feeding the pigs -- Ham and Bacon (too bad the kosher kids didn't get the joke!), these city slickers transformed. What was my first clue? Well, when I picked them up on the third or fourth day, their counselor said, "tell Mommy what you did today," the kids start naming different activities and she said, "No, tell her what you ate" they say, "lunch, snack" "No, what ELSE did you eat?" "oh, ants," they both answer nonchalantly. "they taste like sweet tarts," Glitter adds. ????? Who are these kids? they are definitely not related to me! But they were thrilled and said it was the best camp ever. Munch away, I say.

The girls and I stopped at the grocery store after farm camp one day and ran into their kindergarten teacher. I recognized her because she gave us a tour back in May. She hung out and chatted with us for at least 30 minutes. Then she thanked us for stopping her! Unbelievable. We had our official meet your teacher at school yesterday. The girls are going to be together with Miss Beth (teachers go by their first names here), too much anxiety otherwise. Noodles has the cutest teacher who happens to be the girlfriend of one of his counselors! It was a great meeting (as much as it can be for a kid who doesn't want to go to school) and at least one of us is really excited for school to start on Tuesday! (Bet you can't guess who!!!!)

Noodles is going to be rock climbing after school! he loves this crazy adventure stuff. Right now he's mountain biking -- it may surpass skateboarding as his favorite sport. Hard to believe, I know. The girls are going to dance dance dance. There's a lot of things they want to do but I think going to kindergarten all day is enough. Let's see how they do getting to school by 8am!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

The Guilt

Being Jewish, and being a Mom, i get it in double doses.

Feeling it, I come home from my yoga workshop for lunch. Nobody is even here!
I have a blissful hour of quiet to myself. I knew this move would start to payoff sometime...

Meanwhile, in all of the meditations we did all morning (since 8am, without coffee!), I started feeling panicky (did I mention that we were not allowed any coffee beforehand?). Panicked about the move-- the old voices -- you know the ones: fear and doubt. "what did you do? what's going to happen to your children? do you really want to go camping?" ok, not the last one, i just threw that in to see if you were awake. seriously though, am i cut out for the wilderness? all that noise in the suburbs serves a good purpose. you don't have to think! you're too busy running from one errand to the next. no mantras, no meditation, no babbling brooks to slow you down and reflect.

this is not a good line of thinking to go back to yoga class with. can you be a yogi and not reflect?